I Can't

Rene, while the emotion is evident in this and essentially it's a strong poem, consider how much stronger it would be if you got rid of the fairly generic words of angst poetry: soul, spirit, pain, daggers... even love if you can remove it, but that's not so essential.  The reason is, by using these words you're making it really easy for the reader -- these are codes that we're overly familiar with, and there's nothing new to challenge us and make it more flavoursome.  I'd really love to see some more "showing" here, not just telling.

I know that sounds harsh but I do think it's got to stretch a bit to make great poetry.