More in bitter-sweet (adult content)
bitter-sweet (adult content)
In S1 do you mean "Move Closer"?
I like this, I like sensual poetry.
I'm not fond of S2, L1, "heaving breasts" seem a bit cliche, Maybe a different way to say the same thing?
One other suggestion, add a word here or there to draw out the suspence
Just my two bits:)
----- Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
by Shan on May 26 2008