faith, orange cats & bunnies

Thinking this is really "politics, orange cats, facts & family."

You've got some numbering errors -- double 16s and 17s. Be sure to check

In the first quarter or so there are some weak or cliched stanzas that did not hold my interest so much. S2, cliche. S4 - don't see the relevance to the rest of the piece. S5, interesting...but not.

You've got s8 about money, and the idea of 'mint' which shows up later several times, Canadian style, and the idea burning crops up again. Nice.

I like 10 into eleven, the ideas of God leading into ideas of mighty and mitey and back to cats.I think this might be where you start to get a groove going.

S14 - you cleverly weave the ideas of God, money, death. On the other hand, I'm not yet sure if I buy this soap box piece in the midst of everything else. I need to think about it.

S16 - I eat cereal for dinner, too! I like how this stanza leads into the next about your mom and oatmeal. Nice. And stanza 17 could be a poem on its own; lovely.

The second stanza 17 is also strong.

s20 is heartbreaking, especially the last two lines, "i cling to the dishes in my hutch/to remember her love."

Is the word Canada lower case on purpose?

S22 - why would a person smell of antiseptic?

s24, last line, instead of "the sharp teeth" perhaps "and less teeth" or something? The line doesn't sit right as is

s28, the orange cat that isn't cruel enough, what a great little story.

s29 - damn. That eclipse was so moving, and I love that you bring this image into the work.

s30 - do cats kill bunnies?

s31 & 32 -- wow.

s33 - back to the cheese. Eh.

s36 - second stanza about your father cataloging every dive, wow.

s38  - Neat recollection. Too bad they're not the orange sox.

s40 - you and the bunny. waiting. wow.

I'm totally buying the jokes interwoven with the stories.

s42-44 - Hey, are you my brother?

s45 - "it was orange/far away." Wow'd again for the some of the very simple ways you've expressed great thought and feeling.

s50 - neat little twist. "this is not love."

s54 - I think you can cut the first four lines. the part in paren really distracts for me. Something like -- 'if you light a candle, no matter how you light it, it goes away eventually'

s55 - Fun, but...I'm not sure if there's enough politics in here to end on a political note. But...I also love it.

Love certain lines, like in 11, "Sometimes,/it is enough to watch." 15- "an orange cat is not God/but i am saved." And much more. That's my amateur take on the piece. I think it needs some tweaking and perhaps a slightly different title, but overall well done!