May 17, 2025
More in on traveling widely in a small place on traveling widely in a small place
Yes, an atmosphere of lively quietude, if that's possible :> I particularly liked the opening "honors the sky/with his little flight", a 'humble' opening scene [is that an example of meiosis?] - and also these lines "until the light flies away/and he rests" made an impression - simple but disproportionately effective. At first I wondered about "bending each twig/again", but after another read, realised "again" has the effect of implying a ritual/territorial behaviour pattern in a solitary word - an example of Anstey's 'efficiency' comment :> One phrase that troubled me - and it's probably not worth mentioning, so I will *perverse smile* is "tucked along the brush", where I feel that 'tucked' and 'along' are not really compatible; 'tucked into' would sound more natural to me, although perhaps that's too closely related to the human 'bedtime' scenario? Last lines are quietly wonderful - I heard an echo of that contrast in the opening lines (sky & little flight) in "for all the world/like a leaf". You do this thing very well in your poetry Norm, drawing detailed attention to 'events' that are often overlooked.
by Aphasic on Mar. 1 2008
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