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I really like this poem for its simplicity of expression and the way you turn the line breaks. But with lots of poems I like, I make minor rewrites in my head. I'd rarely mention them to anyone (because its terribly presumptuous) but here's how I approached yours:
Cards laid flat
up and down
can be interpreted
in so many ways
maybe it is in the grain
of your face or my hands
on the table
Cards laid flat
up and down
can be interpreted
in so many ways
maybe it is in the grain
of your face or my hands
on the table
This comment has inspired:
- » EmilyRose on Apr. 4 2007 - Derma Kaput: Know what? I was playing with the line and ...
by Derma Kaput on Apr. 3 2007