latter-day lovers

i harsh back a swallow annihilating the ever-human reluctance of candid motions. -- This line seems a little long to me. Maybe there is a point where you can break it into two lines or maybe just try shortening it.

And that's the only thing that caught my eye. I think the phrase "sour smell of bodies" really drove the whole grasping of the poem home to me, and then the ending is, as Anstey says, incredible. This is an example of being human, and I think that is something poetry can express better than any other art sometimes. You've utilized it well.

~Emeya