Machtlos

 I have to say that although Idon't know what exactly you are writing about, it very much reminds me of withdrawl, the feeling of my skin screaming at me.

the writing certainly gets the point across, I do find the spacing somewhat distracting. also the word "whilst" seems too - I don't know - highbrow for such a raw piece. perhaps that is my own language preference. Overall I think it is well done, I would like to see it tighter in appearance and wording. I think it would deliver the point more effectively with fewer words, less telling, more showing (I sound like a high school english teacher!) 

-ruth

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