walking on a frozen lake

 I really like some parts of this but no so much others.  The rhymes are forced and that takes away form what you are trying to say.  The second line in each stanza doesn't flow well, although I get what you were trying to do.  I like what you are trying to do and here are a few suggestions for you to think about:)

I stood upon a frozen lake atop a thousand fish
and stepped slipped stepped a mile or more with a dying wish
I talked with God about the choice of water and my breath
and cast allusions for him to catch, should I step upon my death.

I walked upon a frozen lake where little boys dared to dance
and lolly-lagged and lolly-gagged playing a game of chance
I talked with God about the choice of fire the smoke that was my breath
and spoke aloud for him to hear, I have no fear of falling into death.

I stood upon a frozen lake atop memories of back when
fathers of my father's father's  faces of  long lost men
I talked to God about the choice of earth; me buried without breath
and pondered silence in the sun, when I was cold as death.