Meter for dummies?

I think I see your problem. You're thinking of meter as just a generic THING. It's not. Every line of poetry is metric in that it can be broken up in to metric units. For example, yours could be said:

i MET/ a TOAD/ on HIS/ way HOME/ from CHURCH

which is iambic (iambic pentameter to be precise, because it's got five beats).

It could also be said like this:

I met a/ TOAD on his/ WAY home from/ CHURCH

which is, in fact, dactyls (a dactyl is three syllables to a beat or foot, DA dum dum). Try it and see the difference in the rhythms. Iambic is a bit like a heartbeat, which is why it's often used for ballads; dactylic is more forceful, and it's often used for stories with morals or teaching. (Personally I like dactyls best but I'm didactic...)

One single line can actually be read several different ways -- where meter comes into its own is through a series of lines, creating symmetry and continuity of rhythms.

Say:

To NIGHT/ lies HEA/ vi-LY/ with OUT/ a STAR

that's iambic. Fairly perfectly so, in fact. But what makes meter work is several of the lines following a pattern -- the way you write your meter gives your poem extra depth, because the sound of it creates mood.

However, even a free verse poem can be broken up into metric units. Free verse just doesn't follow regular metric patterns, but knowledge of meter will invariably improve your freeverse.