building space ships with Cameron

Some cool techniques here, but “tabled like bad motions” doesn’t feel right to me. I understand the reference, but that reference has no relevance. Perhaps substituting “emotions” for “motions” might work better. I also think you might want to consider adding “out” on the next-to-last line: “notions of my past left / left out on the old oak table / right out where you could see”
I really like the experimentation with words here. Both the repetition and hyper-use of prepositions make this interesting.
Both thumbs up!
Alcuin