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You certainly have carried the metaphor fully forward. The weakest line is the next-to-last. Perhaps "- finally spontaneously - " would sound better - at least to my ear.
Otherwise, this is simultaneously engaging for its imagary and thought-provoking with its ideas.
Alcuin
Otherwise, this is simultaneously engaging for its imagary and thought-provoking with its ideas.
Alcuin
by Alcuin of York on June 1 2007