Separation

Great mixing of religious metaphor and love lost. In many ways, they are certainly akin. Your descriptors work well within both contexts and help to render a strong image, to this reader at least.

"the smooth of apathy under fingertips" - this line however, reads poorly. I feel there must be a word missing here, "the smooth pull of apathy under fingertips" perhaps? or better yet, "the smooth tide of apathy under fingertips", lending a greater allusion to the parchment of the desert elsewhere.

Mos.