swimming

I wondered about maybe progress

NOw, first of all, i like this a lot. I think it shows a lot of possbility. The sparsity of the prose is well suited to the theme.  That said, I felt like it was lacking something. I think my mind searches for progresses.. logical movement along the theme from beginning to end - a complete thought.

Some of the things i noticed along these lines.

a lake, the ocean.. and then undetermined body of water. It occurred to me that your paragraphs could progress through types of water -- river, swamp, stream, pond, pool, lake and ocean.

i noticed that the times did shift throughout, afternoon, indeterminate daytime, early evening, indeterminate time, midnight -- i was looking for progress either by day of week (starting on a tuesday) or through hours of the days regardless of day, month or year.

I think using those sorts of things as a subtext of motion, growth and change would really help with the effectiveness of this piece.