More in for wisdom's sake
for wisdom's sake
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Sorry about me Stephan - I've just re-read (after your comment update) and wondered if you're looking for consistent metrical form...a suggestion for one line - it doesn't add anything substantial, but seems to sound better on reading:"...that yet may save a mouse from taloned truth?". Strike that...for last 2 lines of S2.
"What wisdom dearest godess dost thou hold/that yet may save a mouse from taloned truth?" Maybe not what you're looking for, but it does mean that S2 scans consistently (that is, if you're writing in iambic pentameter, which is how most of it reads).
Again, apologies for another intrusion into this space (you did label it as a 'draft') - I should go write something of my own (mantra:write something every day, however weak, diseased or lame). I think I'll aim for lame...go out on a limb, distress my feet
"What wisdom dearest godess dost thou hold/that yet may save a mouse from taloned truth?" Maybe not what you're looking for, but it does mean that S2 scans consistently (that is, if you're writing in iambic pentameter, which is how most of it reads).
Again, apologies for another intrusion into this space (you did label it as a 'draft') - I should go write something of my own (mantra:write something every day, however weak, diseased or lame). I think I'll aim for lame...go out on a limb, distress my feet
by Aphasic on Feb. 19 2008