Finding

You crawl within me
Soothing
Confusing
I can't see me
Don't want to find myself
I'm insecure
The chittering within
Fear is how I cope
Diluting what I feel
Dark descends
Kills confidence
I can't hold on
Sometimes too much to take
Cannot brainwash myself today
In the end
I know that it will matter
And as I'm melting down babe
You keep on holding me up
The memory
That I still see
It slowly fades away
Sometimes I need to remember it
Just to bleed
Somehow I need you to just stay
Tearing out our memories
Till we don't need help anymore
Count the bitter memories
Turn them into possibilities
Change all the fears
Into something new
Just see all the things these words reveal
As you heal and we feel
We are close and this is real
Why do I have this negativity
The fault is all mine
I need to find something I had all along
But I will never know
Until these scars are healed
And so I break away
To find myself today
I don't know how to get it right
So I bleed upon the floor
As all these words fall
Not knowing how to trust myself
Trying not to stay upon my knees
So I tear everything from the inside
Put my trust in me
As I become what I wanted to be

© 2005, Mosquitobyte