As Good as it Gets?

Amaranthine Fetish

Years back now
I saw a young girl
She captivated me
All I saw were her eyes
They darted
Ceaselessly
Seemingly looking right through
Never settling
I sensed that they saw the all
They absorbed with intent
A wary intelligence lay behind them
Then she looked at me
Barely holding my gaze
For I too saw the world the same way
In snapshots
But that look
I nearly died
For I saw it everyday
Each morning it glanced at me
Mirroring defeated thoughts
Curious man that I am
I was needless to say intrigued
Particularly with these dark ideas
Attached to one so young
I was a void at that time
To feel at all was an adventure
This young girl
She made me feel
Period
To say confusion reigned in my mind
Well, understatement
So young
What was happening?
I never let on
No one knew
Now
I bleed
For she terrifies me
I love it
Love her
Glimpses of me I have given
But the terror comes from within
I would give her me
Yet fear bleeding out too soon
Unable to surrender before I fail
I fear because I love
Totally
Her love cuts me
I bleed for her
For I
For she reminded me to love myself
She is the blade with which I pierced my heart
And though she is the love I bleed
She is not the colour
Nor the cause of this haemorrhaging mind
I see hers as the bloody hands of healing
She cannot
We both twist words
Convinced of our rightness
I would be her healer
Though we both know the truth
For her as well as I
She would let me try
But knows I can't
For no one can
Because I try
I am let in
Maybe
And though saddened
I smile
For maybe that's as good as it gets