Lamentations On a Free Market

Chapter 1 of 6 - The Introduction

Chapter I

Hear O New Jerusalem!
Verily I say,
you have lost your way,
frittered your way away -
swapped your soul for a song
of free markets
(chorus) dough ream me
raised an altar
that altered you
unaware;
glorified your greed
camouflaged your need
sanctified a sin.
(chorus) dominus, sacre viridus,
verily, verile verdancy.
You've sung a psalm
that cracked your voice,
changed your choice
by slow modulations
to immoderations -
of one-part disharmony,
harmingly.
(chorus) more, mister,
mas, master

Alcuin of York

Comments

Leanne -
I am still laughing at "domine, sacre viridus" -- very clever (even though it only works in the US because other people actually colour their money more creatively

). The word play here is wonderfully entertaining. The only line I'm a little less keen on is "frittered your way away" -- only because if I'd done it I'd have put another rhyme in instead of "way", like "pay" or something, because I'm anal like that. But that's such a small thing -- I love this voice of yours.

Jen -

This is a really cool piece. It's entertaining, creative, clever and even controversial. I wouldn't change a thing.

Alcuin of York -

You see Leanne, you just don't get in to the ol' Bible often enough. It is often written with superfluous repetition. Examples abound" "and it came to pass in the days..." Why not just, "In the days..." and tell us the rest. And whatever God did, "He saw that it was good."

Not exactly the tightest prose. So I have a choice of either listening to your ideas of form, or God's.

If it's any consolation, you only lost by a nose.

Saint Smurf

Leanne -

God's poetry is shite.

He's so Hallmark.