The Peas and The Sneeze

“Ah! Chew!” I sneezed
With my mouth full of peas.
The peas and the sneeze
Took off on a breeze.
Up over the trees
Soaring with ease,
Went the sneeze and the peas.

“Ah! Chew!" Sneezed the breeze,
Spitting back peas.
"No thank you please
I do not like peas,
Covered with sneeze!"

2- Anstey on June 16 2007

The last two lines tripped me a bit.
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stephan

3- Alcuin of York on June 16 2007

I liked this. I think it's great for children. The only part I question is where the breeze would spit the peas to. Perhaps spitting "back" instead of "out" would work better. Just a quibble, though.
Alcuin

4- Leanne on June 16 2007

Jen, you might like to try "as it spat back the peas" for the second line in the last stanza, to mirror your first.

Otherwise, this is gross and horrible. Go Jen!

5- Shannon McEwen on June 17 2007

peas and snot, mmmmmm. I really like this one Jen, a lovely green visual.
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Life is what happens while you wait for great things.

Life is what happens while you wait for great things.

6- Jen on June 18 2007

Thanks guys!

I changed that one line

7- Kzealy on Jul. 6 2007

Reminds me of a Dr Seus ryme.
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No one Can make you feel inferior without your consent.

No one Can make you feel inferior without your consent.