the respirator

There is no plug
it is a switch
i remember

her angel brown eyes
now yellowed whites
and vacancy
infinity captured in them
and released to nirvana

after 24 hours waiting
to hear from her
mind
numbed we wretched
the life from her
slow and tender

we held hands
and waited, he
and I -- alone where
the meek could not go

There is nothing
left
where boyhood was
only grief
and an endless search
for everything that never existed.

Oh damned love
damned love, I knew her
and all the blessings of loss.