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Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

More in The Problem of Pain

Discuss: The Problem of Pain

That Maverick Ethan Hunt would tell me

"Your are possesed of an alien spirit

sacrificed to a volcano eons ago

and this holocaust's psychic imprint

can be removed with thorough auditing

and a hefty donation"

 

The priest would call it heavy sin

upon my conscience.  "You must,"

He says, "repent with five Hail Mary's

and a hefty donation"

 

The Atheist would call it nerves and tissue

While the Agnostic wouldn't have a clue

 

And Christian Science would tell me to accept my self

as spiritual; a spectre that can part from earthly slings and arrows

while my heart still beats within

... more*

1- Leanne on May 13 2008

Instead of "The Agnostic wouldn't have the faintest clue", what about "While the Agnostic wouldn't have a clue" -- just for sonics really.  Love the "earthly slings and arrows", a neat little nod in the right direction there.

The Buddhist does have the virtue of directness -- and there's the old "no brain no pain" truth -- it's all in the mind.   I wonder, if you got your head chopped off would it hurt?  On second thoughts, I'm not that curious.

Hindi is the language, by the way -- the people are Hindu. 

I'd be tempted to put the Catholic and Jewish closer together, since they're both fairly heavy on the guilt factor -- but since the Catholic bit ties in so beautifully with the Ethan Hunt thing (I had to google, I'm sorry), I'd be shifting the Rabbi up a bit.

Our local busline has been nicknamed herpes (well, by me anyway) because their new slogan is the very imaginative "couldn't be easier to catch".   

 

3- Leanne on May 13 2008

For a minute there I thought you might have been talking about The Sonics (the real ones that played music) but no, you're talking about the fake Sonics wot play another sport nobody else in the world cares about...

5- Leanne on May 13 2008

We SO don't.

6- Callooh on May 13 2008

 hindu is a faith, I believe... (and a language)

always liked the buddhists, although I've never been beaten by one

 ----- Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm

7- Anstey on May 13 2008

... and Hendo is the guy who hit the home run that catapulted the boston Red Sox to the 1986 American League pennant.