once a place where I was

I find it difficult to critique this. The style is much like Carl Sandburg's, which I never cared for generally, though a few of his works appeal to me. This is, however, a matter of personal taste - like saying that I don't care for Pollock's drippings, though they are certainly thoughtfully accomplished. That kind of assessment is not technical, and if I ran down what I think are the technical flaws here, my personal tastes would intrude. That would not be objective - but then, perhaps art isn't objective anyway.

Alcuin