Thinking Allowed

hmm.  I enjoyed the sonnet, and that's all I'm going to say. Because my poor head is too exhausted to make any kind of an intelligent critique. But your thoughts on line breaks certainly grabbed my attention. Particularly in the context of form poetry.  Trying to make effective use of line breaks in a sonnet is probably the best way to develop them as good tools in free verse. Because it is more difficult in a sonnet. And line breaks are EXCELLENT tools. Even if some poets don't appreciate them as such.  Think of line breaks as the lead guitar jamming with the rhythm guitar of the grammatical structure.  There's a sort of rhythmic interplay between the two that give a poet yet another structural element to add depth to a poem. At least that's how I see it.

Of course, I'm still ignoring a critique of your poem, even one that focuses on line breaks in an iambic form.  But I never even bothered to count your feet.  Or see if there were any.  Sigh.  I'm tired and its only morning.