Her

I write unruly poems, too. It's a pain, but then where would we be without all the suffering? hehehe. I love your poem. The beginning seemed a tad bumpy around the boys (ain't it always?) but I wonder if some of it might be smoothed out with reformatting/line break changes (?)-Just an idea. I hate it when people start rewriting my poems, so I won't dissect yours unless I know you want that sort of vivisection- I mean, nothing scalpel-ish. Just ideas about the formatting. The poem has a wonderful, edgy fragility- well, that sounds vague as hell. I experienced it as you having a passionate ambivalence, despite being madly in love on some level with this girl, and your ambivalence, rather than weakening your love, makes it all the more potent. And that is the mystery, the spiritual/psychoreligious whatevver you choose to call it, "sermon"....It's a marvelously conceptualised piece of writing and I enjoyed reading it very much. Thank you...C