friction

I’m not a believer in the general rule to not use “I” in a poem. I often do so. Further, I’m often accused of not including myself as an actor or feeler in my writing. What I dislike about this theme and exposition is that it is entirely self-consumed. Yes, we learn something about Ruby, but only as it relates to the writer – oh yes, and that she apparently is a Southern gal with blonde hair; hardly insightful. Mostly, she’s conveniently compliant. The language is generally good, with some alliteration, and good adjectives: “Painted fingers”, “unadorned padded altar”. Even the seemingly repetitive “hushed muffled refrain” works. I would normally criticize the awkward meter and near-redundancy, but I like the alliterative vowels and “F”s. On the other hand, “builds to a crescendo”, while technically not redundant, is implicitly repetitive, and a bit cliche. Finally, it is cleverly written, from “rub Ruby” to “polishing” Alcuin