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Honestly, I think you need to open with
a ciphered breeze [does something like wandering or perverting the course of justice or strangling roses]
as just the statement seems quite abrupt and disjointed.
or, alternatively,
the chilled hand of
a ciphered breeze
(I like it ciphered, by the way, n.i.c.e)
No worries with the closing lines though -- I totally get the need for reconstruction AND the need to not be deconstructed.
This comment has inspired:
- » Callooh on Apr. 11 2008 - Norm: hey thanks... Leanne: absolutely... thanks. any better??I live ...
by Leanne on Apr. 10 2008