Skip to main content Help Control Panel

Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

More in Versed, Re-versed & Unversed

De-Seussifying your Poetry

avatarLeanne Hanson -- on June 2 2007, from Just west of the lounge room
...solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.

I found this article at http://www.poetrybase.info/gpd/000/1.shtml -- the site there is full of brilliant information but this is the most immediately relevant, I think.
De-Seussifying your Poetry

One of the biggest problems poets encounter when trying to write rhyming poetry is that it comes out with a sing-song feel, sort of like Doctor Seuss' works. There are several techniques the poet can use to minimize the effect:

* Lengthen your lines. It is not unusual for poets who write using short line lengths to suffer the most from sing-song. Average closed forms usually use between eight and twelve-syllable lines. If your lines are short, try lengthening them. About the longest practical line in English poetry is fourteen syllables, although even that is usually broken by a c?sura, or pause, and may be represented as two lines.
* Use a rhyme scheme where rhyme is not adjacent. Most English-language derived closed forms use rhyming patterns that separate the rhymes by one or more lines rather than having them adjacent. So, a rhyme scheme such as abab is better to eliminate sing-song than aabb.
* Instead of using perfect rhyme, consider using consonance, assonance, alliteration, slant rhyme, or some other, looser forms of line-binding. (If anyone needs definitions, Line Binding.)
* The use of strict meter, such as iambic pentameter, can become sing-song and seem amateurish, monotonous, for children, and other things you might not want your poetry considered. The occasional metrical inversion or substitution can keep things interesting. The caveat with this is too much pepper makes the reader sneeze. A little variation spices the poem, but too much makes it indigestible. You will lose the feel of the rhythm and meter if changing up is overdone. As such, it's best to follow two rules:
1. Do not invert the first or last foot of the line, and
2. Do not invert two or more metrical feet in a row.
These are general guidelines, and can be broken successfully by experienced poets.
* Use less of the same rhyme. Italian is a better language for rhyme than English is, and so the Italian sonnet's rhyme scheme works for Italian: abbaabba cdcdcd. You only have four different end rhymes for fourteen lines. Because English is more difficult to rhyme, Henry Howard created a new type of sonnet, the English sonnet, that has seven different rhymes: abab cdcd efef gg. No rhyme is used more than twice; whereas, in the Italian form, all rhymes are used either three or four times.
* Avoid the overused rhymes: life/strife/wife or love/dove/above, etc. You know them when you hear them, because you've heard them so many times before. They also tend to be rhymes of common words where there are very few rhymes available. It's much better to find rhymes with more diversity or that aren't used often, such as Dave Carter did by rhyming "oranges" with "door an' jus'"
* If you find yourself inverting syntax, you are forcing the rhyme. In other words, if place you words in order odd to rhyme achieve, 'tis best I think, to write again or laughter leave. Inverted syntax is going to stick out like a sore thumb, and tends to give a different feel than how we would naturally say something. If you find syntactical inversions, see if you can rephrase the original line to give a better rhyme. Yoda-speak another term for this is.
* If you're using a word just to rhyme with a previous line, are you padding your poem with fluff? Another form of forcing a rhyme many amateur poets make is to wind up adding lines that don't really add to the poem or move the poem where it needs to go, just so they can get a rhyme for a previous end word. You want your poetry to be compact, with no fluff. So, if you find fluff, weed it out. Try rephrasing the original line to rhyme with another important line coming after it.

Happy writing!

Comments

avatar
Paradiso, Tracey
Associate, 1902 posts

on June 2 2007


Superb advice. Thank you!
avatar
Leanne Hansonfrom Just west of the lounge room
Associate, 3708 posts

on June 2 2007


A very important note on rhyme:

Avoid using the word "stunt".  Sooner or later you're going to give in to temptation. 

avatar
Leanne Hansonfrom Just west of the lounge room
Associate, 3708 posts

on June 4 2007


Or "luck"
Deadpoetsmilk

on June 13 2007


             Single Sperm Swimming Down the Page                

                                                             I

                                            lumber-

                                     jack 

                     the poet-tree

               to build the

              universe's

            balcony

         but obviously

      my alchemy

 is lacking

magic words.

Instead I take the galaxy

expose a culture's phallacy

by showing God's anatomy

to little boys and girls..

 

 

avatar
Leanne Hansonfrom Just west of the lounge room
Associate, 3708 posts

on June 13 2007


Yes, I can just imagine the Grinch saying that.
avatar
Suter Bill
288 posts

on June 20 2008


Perhaps the little boys and girls

were meant to flit like flying squirrels

and bag their messy words like lunch

past-tensified from Grinch to Grunch

to goosify a Suessian bunch...

may the farce be with us - ooommm!!! 

avatar
Leanne Hansonfrom Just west of the lounge room
Associate, 3708 posts

on June 21 2008


As I was going to St Dee's
I met an Ooom upon his knees
His knees were bent upon a bench
The right height for the lusty wench
Whose Oooms were rather muffled by
The donkey with the wonky eye
They winked at me, I muttered "geez,
I'll never make it to St Dee's"
avatar
Suter Bill
288 posts

on June 21 2008


I curse the verse,'green eggs and ham'
as boring as a tub of Spam
or Amy Winehouse home decor
as artful as a Whoville whore

I am cursed with the verse

that is worse than the nurse

who gave birth in reverse

in the back of a hearse

yeeeaaarrrggghhh...

avatar
Leanne Hansonfrom Just west of the lounge room
Associate, 3708 posts

on June 21 2008


The nurse in the hearse
Through the farce of her arse
In the Seussical verse
Of the hatted cat's curse
Shows a lust that will bust
Through the fustiest crust
And the dust and the ash
From the green eggs and hash
Explode on the road
To the Grinch's abode
Though we passed him at lunch
So he's turned into Grunch
Which is much like the sound
From the nurse's dry mound
Though it's gooey as glue
From the birth of Thing Two

avatar
Fallica thomas
46 posts

on June 22 2008


Hearse doesn't rhyme with arse no matter how you pronounce arse....
avatar
Leanne Hansonfrom Just west of the lounge room
Associate, 3708 posts

on June 22 2008


No, but arse rhymes with farce when your language has class.
avatar
Fallica thomas
46 posts

on June 23 2008


Yes it does BUT you have a bb cc dd ee ff etc rhyme scheme but no aa because arse doesn't rhyme with hearse
avatar
Leanne Hansonfrom Just west of the lounge room
Associate, 3708 posts

on June 23 2008


Not at all, I have a Dr Seuss rhyming scheme -- if you look at his books, the rhymes are wherever he feels like it at the time.  And I don't feel like arguing the point, because I'm right.
avatar
Fallica thomas
46 posts

on June 23 2008


You sound like a republican
avatar
Leanne Hansonfrom Just west of the lounge room
Associate, 3708 posts

on June 23 2008


Best that I deleted my original response to that.
Sinnaminsun

on June 24 2008


.....but I love Yoda!!!   The dreaded inverted syntax, hmmm, thanks for the informative post Leanne:)   
avatar
Suter Bill
288 posts

on June 26 2008


I love the controversy I can create from simply doing the opposite of what I'm instructed to do. Such pleasure...:)
Share
* Invite participants
* Share at Facebook
* Share at Twitter
* Share at LinkedIn
* Reference this page
Monitor
Recent files
Forums »
See also